by Kelly | May 29, 2008 | Uncategorized
When you are going through a transition and things are changing, you may feel a little out of control. It can be a scary time when you just want to hold on to something or someone or let someone take over for awhile. In order to restore a sense of power, some people try to to control other people or situations, making them be what they need them to be. While others, may let people take control by making decisions for them, releasing them from the responsibility of the outcome and possible negative consequences.
As defined by dictionary.com, control is to exercise restraint or direction over; dominate; command. Who has control of your life? Do you relinquish your power to others in times of change? Do you need everything to be “perfect” in your life in order to feel successful or in control? Does your sense of self-worth come from internal or external sources?
Take this assessment to see where you score
http://www.coping.org/control/need.htm#Need Read this document further to see myths and realities about control, helpful self-affirmations and ways to move from an external locus of control to an internal one.
by Kelly | May 26, 2008 | Uncategorized
A couple of weeks ago, I was fortunate enough to go on a girls weekend with my close friends to a resort for a couple of days. It was a relaxing and luxurious experience, a far cry from how we all live in the city of Santo Domingo, DR. We
bonded as we indulged in the amenities, from drinks to massages. In those three days, we relinquished our sensible levelheaded methods of living in a different country and engaged in meaningful life discussions usually followed by lively and hysterical fits of laughter!
I was floating in the clear blue water, chatting easily with my friend, when I had an epiphany! While looking at the clouds slide across the sky – everything seemed to align. I realized that everything that I had asked for and visualized on having one year ealier, is now my reality! I asked for one full year off of work to write and develop my own business, to live in the sun, go dancing and have interesting people and experiences fill my life. In that moment, in the water, giggles bubbled up and I was full of gratitude because everything I had asked for and believed in, I received! It is really true, you can create a life you love!
by Kelly | May 23, 2008 | peace
Sit quietly for a moment. Hear your breath. Is it fast and shallow? Consciously slow it down, take it to a deeper place.
Now, how are you feeling? How are you approaching the day today? From a place of fear or gratitude?
How can you be more open to what is going on right now in your world?
We have a choice.
Ultimately it comes down to whether we choose drama or peace.
What are you choosing today?
by Kelly | May 15, 2008 | Uncategorized
Yesterday was my birthday, I am now 33! It was a truly wonderful, blissful, dreamy morning but by 11 o`clock the mood changed. My vision of writing at my favourite cafe was replaced with urgency, of things I needed to get done and tasks I had forgotten to complete. All afternoon, I felt the need to reflect and plan for my future; instead I spent the day running errands, feeling frazzled and a little angry. So at 8:30pm, when I found myself stuck in traffic in the back of a taxi, sweating in 33 degree
Celsius heat, alone and 1.5 hours late for my birthday party, I laughed at the irony of the situation. I realized that I had received exactly what I wanted – time alone to think – it just
didn´t come in the form that I had expected. I decided to not fight or try to change the situation, it was what it was and took a deep breath.
I looked around at the other stranded drivers through my opened window, sitting there in my green party dress, my makeup sliding off my face, I wondered what they were all thinking about. In the pick up truck beside me, a man joked with his son and bought him a popsicle from a street vendor. One man yelled furiously into his phone, his face red. A group of women went to the colmado (a Dominican name for a convenience store) to buy beer and drank happily in the street, leaning against the parked cars laughing loudly. I observed so many different ways to react to a shared situation.
Finally, I arrived at my party. I was greeted by applause and big hugs – it was fabulous!! I was not frazzled or angry as I had felt hours before. Being trapped in the taxi allowed me the space I needed to let go of the disappointment of not spending my day exactly as I wanted. If I would have arrived on time who knows what kind of night I would have had. If we can let go and see that sometimes we get exactly what we ask for and what we need and just let the moment be what it is, things go smoothly, even if you are trapped in a taxi! Ultimately, my birthday evening matched my birthday morning – wonderful, blissful and dreamy.
by Kelly | May 13, 2008 | Uncategorized
I am writing this at 7:30 am. Pretty much every day by this time, I have had my breakfast (for those interested, it is a delicious little tomato and cheese sandwich 🙂 ) and have read a few pages of an inspirational book that sits on the table by my favourite chair. I eat and read as I look out at the ocean. Then, I turn on the computer and sip my coffee while I get my head sorted about what I want and need to do that day. This is when I am most alert and my mind is least cluttered; when the events of the day aren´t making noise in my head.. this is when I write. I love writing in the morning.
It is also when I visualize and plan for the future. I see and feel the benefit in my life of taking these few minutes each day to get in touch with myself; it really makes such a difference.
All of my friends and family know that by 9:30pm, I can fall asleep anywhere. I am always a little in awe of how some people can stay up till after midnight and can be functional the next day by 8 am. My clock is different. So when is it that you are most clear? Maybe in the afternoon, say 3 or 4? or at night at 10 or 11? Whenever it is, sit quietly for a few minutes and form a picture of a dream or goal in your head, an image of what you want and imagine having it, feel how it feels to have it and then quickly write it out. Pay attention to when you are most clear during the day and take a few moments to centre and visualize for your future. You too will see the benefits!
by Kelly | May 8, 2008 | Uncategorized
“Without loving and caring for others, most of us stand little chance of communing with God, no matter how many years we may spend in silent prayer.” — Bo Lozoff
Good Morning!!
For the last hour my mind was consumed with thoughts about the direction of my future, my fears, my dreams, my, my, my… then I thankfully was emailed this quote above which reminded me to get out of my head and stop the relentless “me, me, me” thoughts that can easily take over your attention. I redirected my thoughts on how I want to interact with the world today.
One of my favourite mantras is “May my behaviour today express my deepest beliefs.” Who ironically is also by Bo Lozoff. More information about Bo Lozoff is found at http://www.humankindness.org/.
by Kelly | May 6, 2008 | Uncategorized
Have you ever gone from being in a great mood one moment to a really bad mood in the next? You go from the kind of great mood where the sun is shining, feeling completely relaxed, humming happily, smiling at strangers kind of mood to being in a rotten, hateful, angry, leave-me-alone kind of mood – all in a matter of minutes?
How does this happen? Do you blame the event or person that triggered the change in your mood? Or do you examine the change in your internal thought pattern and question your own response to a situation?
Before you respond to a situation there is a moment when it is possible to observe a subtle shift or an abrupt change in your thought pattern. By becoming observant of your thoughts, you realize that your thoughts are separate from the deeper “you” (the one who is observing) and that you have a choice when responding in situations. You have a choice to choose your thought, your response to situations and how you relate in the world. Knowing this brings power, freedom and self awareness!
I have studied and applied the concepts of Choice Theory and Reality Therapy in my life and professional relationships for over 12 years. You can contact me or check out this link if you interested in more information. http://wglasser.com/index.php
by Kelly | May 3, 2008 | inspiration
Life is not about finding yourself. Life is about Creating yourself.
Source unknown
Let´s analyze this… how can we take this wisdom and apply it in our lives? What I get from this quote is that it emphasizes the power we have in making choices and that the answers you look for aren´t “out there” but rather within you.
What are your ideas and personal examples about creating yourself… write them here or in your personal journal.
