by Kelly | Aug 17, 2008 | Uncategorized
Hi! To all of those people who feel alone on a Sunday night and find yourself in solitude wondering where the people are in your life, this message is for you.
I feel compelled to put out a quick message to let you know you aren’t alone. Even when we think we are alone, we really aren’t. People are thinking about us. It is true.
I am sitting here with my puppy listening to quiet music, it is about 8 pm and I am feeling ok but I admit I am a little lonely. Earlier, my lovely aunt called to chat and said she has thought about calling several times but didn’t want to disturb me. Little did she know I wasn’t very busy… I am left to wonder how many other people are thinking about calling me…
You know how busy your life feels at times, know that others are feeling the pressure too. So in moments when you feel alone, trust that someone is thinking about you, they may be too busy or just want to give you some space. If you want it, open yourself up and invite them over or call them first. Don’t wait for them! Or if the solitude is what you need, recognize that and induldge in it – but remember you aren’t alone!
Best, Kelly
by Kelly | Aug 14, 2008 | Uncategorized
Would anyone be interested in getting away for a week to the Dominican Republic?
Time to themselves, meet new people, get sorted, have some fun AND come back with an action plan!
When would be the best time for you? How much do you want to spend?
You book your travel (I will make recommendations and find deals) and I will look after the rest – pick you up at the airport and arrange for some meaningful experience AND some great fun at one of the many all inclusive resorts!
Anyone interested? Open invitation to my new home in the DR!
Kelly McIntyre M.Sc.
Email me kelly@transitioncounselling.com
Add me as a friend on Facebook and find out more about goals groups and more!
by Kelly | Aug 12, 2008 | goals
Summer is all about connecting with family and friends, exploring new things and just chilling out doing whatever you want to do with your lazy days of summer.
For all the anticipation and excitement that comes with the arrival of summer, it sure is over fast! September is coming soon! And with the arrival of September comes school, lessons, meetings, work… busy, Busy, BUSY!
But don’t panic! We still have a few more weeks left but now that things are a little slower, this is a great time to reflect. Reflection creates awareness of where you are in your journey, time to review what has happened in the past and plan where you want to go and be in the future. So think about this year 2008 and reflect on:
What you have survived, achieved, completed, created or conquored!
Where you want to go & what you still want to do!
With only a few more weeks left of summer, let’s not miss this opportunity to create some quiet time for ourselves.
Make a list of what you want in your future!
Beginning in September I am facilitating a Goals Group for people that want to move forward toward achieving a life more aligned with their dreams. I have written more below and information is posted on my website. Please feel free to contact me if you want more information or want to sign up.
by Kelly | Aug 6, 2008 | Uncategorized
It happened in a workshop that I was facilitating about 8 years ago.
There were eight participants in total. Each person was going through a traumatic experience dealing with the effects of long term unemployment. The topic that day was self-marketing, promoting yourself to an employer; a task that can be very challenging to someone who has been out of work for a long time.
Throughout the lively discussion, a woman who had been very chatty all of a sudden became very quiet. I monitored her occasionally as the discussion continued but then one by one everyone stopped talking and eventually all eyes gently rested on her. She closed her eyes and when she opened them tears streamed down her face and she started laughing and crying simultaneously. Chills went through me. We all sat in complete stillness and watched as she lifted her head up above us with a great smile and said, “Thank you, I finally got it!”
That was when I knew I needed to be a part of people’s self development. I think about this experience a lot because I believe it was the first time I was truly present in the moment. There was nothing missing in that moment. Nothing could be added to make the moment better. It was a perfect moment. I felt bliss. AND it was selfless – I didn’t need to do or be anything, I just needed to witness it.
I became intrigued with this feeling and tried to think of other times in my life when I have felt close to such bliss. Here is what I came up with:
1. Sun/Beach
2. Yoga/Meditation
3. Teaching/Learning/Writing
4. Dancing/Music
5. Nature
Today, I create my life ensuring that I include as many of these five activities as possible.
What five things make you happy? Blissful?
What can you do today to bring them into your life?
by Kelly | Jul 31, 2008 | Uncategorized
Typically, we are very focused in the future. We think about what we want, our dream job, the ideal mate, the perfect holiday. But how do we get what we want? How does something move from the space of a dream to reality?
Some people are firm. They focus, persevere, put there head down, work hard and push through obstacles to get what they want. Other people flow. They have an idea of what they want, keep their eye on the end result but let themselves go with the natural fluidity of the journey, embracing all the unexpected surprises along the way.And some people move between firm and flow.
Last night, I had a fantastic conversation about realizing your goals and dreams by using the analogy of a river to describe the journey. Imagine that you are being swept along by a river, you know that swimming against the current is difficult and tiring so you must trust the flow of the water. The river may get wide or narrow leading you in different directions. It may trickle softly in some places, and it may have rapids that are wild and dangerous. Yet, the river moves in one direction and eventually opens up to a large body of water full of newness.
When people respond firmly in their approach, it is when they are swimming against the current. But eventually they get tired and surrender to the natural flow, we realize we can’t do it all on our own. When we keep our head down and focus firmly on the end result we miss the peace of the trickling river or the adventure of swirling in the unpredictable rapids. We miss the unexpected. So what are you doing today? Are you swimming against the current or flowing down a river embracing the unexpected?Take this poll to give you a clue…
by Kelly | Jul 22, 2008 | Uncategorized
Summers usually involve holidays and holidays can stir up emotions as routines are interrupted. People are spending more time with each other than normal and usually in smaller spaces. Some people are not really keen on trying new things and want to relax while others crave excitement and want to explore. There is compromising and spending money. Face it- vacations can be stressful.
So when you are getting a little on edge or are full blown over the top stressed – pay attention to the clues that your body is sending you. Retreat from the group for a bit and engage in your most effective relaxational method to create more harmony in your life.
My favourite and most effective technique to regain composure and restore harmony in my life is to do yoga in a quiet space. Feel free to post your favourite relaxational method here so we can can all learn and help each other relax while we are on holiday! 🙂
by Kelly | Jul 21, 2008 | Uncategorized
As I prepare for my six week trip home to Canada, this last week has been full of finishing things that “need” to get done. I busy myself by cleaning this and fixing that, generally doing things in one week that I have put off for months!! I have visited with favourite people and participated in favourite activities. I filled my schedule with all the things that I love and that I am going to miss!
This morning, like every morning, the sun blazed into my bedroom and I thought, “Oh, I am going to really miss waking up here, only two more mornings left.” Then I felt this sadness and grief sweep through me. And it occurred to me that all week I have had moments where I thought of missing something or someone and now the emotions are gaining intensity.
With the sun heating my skin, I feel my heart beat faster with anxiety, my breathe is shallow and then I hear myself say, “I don’t like saying goodbye. I am going to miss everything so much!”
All of the sudden I realize that “I don’t like saying goodbye” also means, “I don’t want to let go”. I lay there feeling the fear of the unknown and simultaneously feel a growing awareness and trust build inside of me. My heart is beating slower, my breathe a little deeper. Instead of busying myself today, I am going to pay attention to pay attention to each moment for what it is and not miss it!
by Kelly | Jul 14, 2008 | change
“One way I handle stress is to separate myself from my emotions temporarily. For example, recently, when going to the real estate agent to sign the papers for a house I began to get very stressed and upset thinking about the financial burden (which I knew I could handle, or I wouldn’t have been doing it) and the idea of being stuck (what if my job didn’t work out, what if I suddenly wanted move away, I would feel trapped by the house). So at the real estate office I let my partner go in and I stayed outside by myself for a few minutes, took slow breaths, and made myself think logically about the decision I was making. When I thought about it with my head, it made sense, and I went inside. However, upon entering the office upstairs, I could feel the panic again so I went to the bathroom, let the tears flow for a minute or two, then washed my face repeatedly and focused my thoughts. I was in there for a few minutes, but I didn’t care. I needed that time to
THINK about my desicion without my emotions taking over. When I thought about it, I decided to go ahead with my decision, and understood (maybe not fully) why I was so emotional. I did not look myself in the mirror while I was thinking because if I saw my red, glossy eyes, that would have triggered the stress and fear again. After I had calmed down and decided again that I was making the right decision (even though it was scary), I went out of the bathroom, with my red eyes, and met with the real estate agent.
Getting a few minutes alone to focus on myself and not what is going on around me helps me deal with stress and tough situations. It allows me to think logically and try to understand why and how I feel.”
Roxanne Dibbley
New Home Owner
