How to Have Confident Conversations

How to Have Confident Conversations

by | Jun 29, 2024 | change, Uncategorized | 5 comments

Confident Conversations: Talking to Kids about Life & Death

Are you struggling to navigate tough conversations with your kids? Our recent book Chloe & the Butterflies is a gentle way to introduce the topic of loss to your child and invites you to explore your views about life transition and death. 

Feeling invincible is a trait of youth, and as we age, we are regularly reminded that we are not. 

The realization of this delicate balance between life and death and illness and health can create a sense of urgency to brace for the worst, protect at all costs or worry and live restricted, tight—all extremely normal ways of reacting to the reality of loss, of death. 

We hear slogans to help guide us, like, “This too shall pass,” “Live life to the fullest,” and “Live today as though it is your last.” Sometimes, these are inspiring! Sometimes, they are unrealistic and even create a sense of urgency, or we are living wrong or grieving wrong. 

So, as adults, we struggle to figure out how to live well. We explore religion, philosophy, and natural science to find meaning to inform our behaviour. Sometimes, we feel empowered in our lives, and sometimes, we struggle existentially. 

And then we become parents.

And these beautiful, perfectly created children look to us for protection, direction, security, love, hope and faith!

Parenting begs us to be better, do better – and grow into a better version of ourselves. 

How can we guide our children when we struggle to reconcile ourselves, all the mysteries of life and death, illness, and all the changes in between?

What I have learned in my last 15 years of being a parent and as a student of Grief & Bereavement is: 

  • We do our best to stay open and curious.
  • We embrace the unknown and share our vulnerability by being present with our discomfort.
  • And we explore spirituality – together as a family. Developing a personal and family devotion to nurturing these qualities, as these are scientifically proven, even more than social connections, to improve resilience when navigating grief. 

Death education is one of the last taboo topics to talk openly about in our society. And, it has the potential to be the most empowering, transformational, and freeing topic to discuss in your family. Children want to know specifics – read more here about tips to talk with your kids about grief. 

I invite you to order a signed copy of Chloe & the Butterflies and open the conversation in your home. 

As always, please reach out, I would love to hear about what you are facing in your life and explore how I can help. 

Enjoy, 
Kelly

5 Strategies to Reimagine Your Life & Restore Hope

by | Jun 30, 2023 | peace | 4 comments

Losing someone or something important in your life can be one of the most challenging and life-altering events you may face. It can profoundly affect your career, personal life, physical health, mental well-being, and spiritual connection.

Coping with a loss is never easy, but with the right guidance and support, it is possible to find your way through and emerge stronger on the other side. Here are some essential tips on how to find your way through life-altering loss:

1. Allow Yourself to Feel

When you are grieving, it is normal to experience a wide range of emotions. There is a misconception that when you are grieving, you only experience heavier emotions; that is untrue. You can laugh, be amused and then, at the moment next, feel great sadness.  Remember, there is no one right way to grieve. You are practicing being non-judgmental toward yourself and giving yourself space and time to be in what is in that moment.

When our feelings are swirling or bubbling, expressing them can be a real blessing in our healing process. The energetic shift in your body is an actual release of chemicals felt in your nervous system.

Our body is always working to protect us and return to homeostasis. Trust yourself and allow the natural processes to happen. 

Loss can threaten our sense of safety and security in the world. When this happens, the way we see life has been disrupted. We are processing so much information consciously and subconsciously. If we don’t stop to feel, the emotions can become buried and manifest in real health concerns later.

Allowing yourself to feel the pain and sadness that comes with losing attachment to someone, something is essential. Create safe times in your day where you can privately explore your emotions.

You are human, and grief is a part of the human experience. Know that your strength will come from your vulnerability in feeling your feelings.

2. Seek Support

A support system is crucial during this difficult time as you process the loss. Many cultures worldwide emphasize that processing grief is best done in a community. Rituals are part of the healing journey, where people come together to honour the loss publicly and support the grieving person. Grief is shared, not hidden. Adapting to the cycles of life and death can be taxing when done in isolation.

We have all grieved. Open your mind to realize this truth.

Anyone who has loved or dreamed or even laughed in a joyous moment has grieved the loss of that experience. I caution you to realize that while people want to support you, not everyone is skilled at listening. If you reach out to someone, one strategy is to preface the conversation by telling them they don’t have to say anything, that you need to talk out your thoughts, or that you need a hug or to go on a quiet walk together. Helping them know what you need will teach them how to support you and reduce the chance of withdrawing because you feel they didn’t hear you.

Change is inevitable. We will all be impacted by the loss of changing circumstances, people, and abilities. There is evidence supporting how our connections are the source of happiness, so please keep trying to reach out to family, friends, or professionals like myself, who can provide the guidance and support you need to navigate your loss. You don’t have to go through this alone.

3. Take Care of Your Physical Health

Loss can affect your physical health, so taking care of your body is essential even though you may not want to leave your bed or get off your couch. Symptoms of grief that people often do not realize involve changes in concentration, the ability to organize time and process information, periods of interrupted sleep, and much more.

The expectations around activities of daily living, such as working, caring for family, and managing household responsibilities, will likely need to be adjusted. When people offer to help, look for practical ways to respond, such as providing them with a grocery list, the route for walking the dog, picking the kids up from school or going with you to the bank or appointments to assist in notetaking.

Your appetite may be affected, be aware and choose, regardless, to eat well, get enough rest, and engage in physical activity. This will help you to manage stress and improve your overall well-being.

Start small and recognize every small action you took to care for yourself. Small steps taken regularly yield big results.

4. Practice Self-Care

Self-care is crucial during times of loss. Just like taking care of your physical self, consider your whole self, sit quietly and ask yourself what you need to support your mental and emotional well-being. Simplify the ways you approach self-care. Engaging in activities that bring you joy will help you relax, such as reading, listening to music, looking at the sky and spending time in nature.

Self-care also involves setting boundaries on your energy and time, which will fluctuate during grief. Try this activity, put your hand on your heart, and tune in to your rhythm; this will help invite peace into your moment and, done regularly, bring more peace into life.

Ask your heart for direction, and listening to what you need from moment to moment will help you to maintain a sense of harmony.

5. Be Open to Finding Meaning in your Loss

I am offering a disclaimer here – Each human experiences life and death and the complex journey in between differently depending on our culture, economic structures, religious beliefs and practices and more.

Not all loss will bring great philosophical shifts, enlightenment, profound insights and personal healing. In reality, some people will carry pain and grief for a long time, if not their entire lives. People may turn to spiritual beliefs to explain challenges in life and karma. We all approach life and death influenced by our culture and death systems. 

Also, there are social justice issues and inequity inherent in processing grief. Consider the workplace bereavement policies—most leave policies cover three days for losing your closest family. There needs to be more support in workplaces. Some people are blessed with more resources.

Financial resources allow some people with the ability to take time off of work or hire help to subcontract the tasks involved in maintaining work-life balance.

Some people have emotional resources, those relationships with people who are a source of love, care and involvement. Having resources available allows the person to explore their grief and dedicate themselves to healing.

And considering all of these elements, although it may be difficult, trying to find meaning in your loss can contribute to depth and richness in living life after loss.

When you witness your strength, this can be extremely empowering as you face future hardships. 

Reimagining your life after loss can be challenging when you are deep in that place. Yet, the slightest spark of hope can light a new path forward and develop a new sense of purpose.

Consider what lessons you may have learned from your grief experience and how you can use these lessons to grow and develop as a person. You cannot go back to before the loss. Grief provides each of us a moment to emerge wiser, more compassionate and more resilient.

Remember, healing takes time, and with the proper support and guidance, it is possible to learn to integrate all of life’s human experiences on this soul journey we are all on together.

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If you’re struggling to find your way through life-altering loss and want to help reimagine your life and connect with who you are now, don’t hesitate to contact Kelly MacLellan, MSc Rehabilitation Counsellor, at www.embraceyourlife.ca and book a complimentary call. Her expert guidance and support can help you navigate the challenges and find a path to healing and growth.

Happy Holidays

Happy Holidays

by | Dec 21, 2020 | Uncategorized | 7 comments

We have endured much this year. We feel vulnerable, tired.

The Embrace your Life community is composed of mostly women and I am sure you can identify that we often carry a lot this time of year. We place pressure on ourselves to create a beautiful, memorable experience for our family and friends and take the opportunity to really show them how much we care.

We love to see our loved ones happy!

But this year we aren’t able to be with our loved ones. While we don’t have to put on the big dinners and plan the extravagant gatherings, the emotions are swirling.

We are being asked to remain at home. 

No home is the same. Some homes are supportive and loving and some are strained and challenged. And some fall in between. 

Home is connected to Relationships.

And if you live alone, the relationship in your home is with yourself.

If your emotions are swirling and you feel consumed with stress, give yourself permission to stop and tend to your most important relationship – the one with yourself.

Do what you need to do to get grounded and clear.

Take time off. Set an intention to be gentle in your thoughts. Restrict intense media, movies, music and instead be mindful to flood your environment with sensual soothing sounds, smells and flavours.

Carve out uninterrupted time to rest and recover. Assertively communicate with the people in your home that this is what is needed right now. 

Let the simplicity of wrapping yourself in a soft blanket and observe the twinkling of your lit tree, be enough to fill you up. 

Avoid the fight in your head with what isn’t and embrace what is. (Yes, we are talking about letting go of control…the greatest challenge of all.)

To get grounded you have to get out of your head and into your body and listen to what it needs. Basic survival – food, shelter, sleep, rest. 

Get back to the moment. 

Let your environment soothe you -. Here’s another tip!

Download our  Cluttered to Clear workbook to help you do just that! 

If you are struggling to see the light through the darkness, I offer you the ingredients to embrace change and additional links for support.  

And THEN… after you have intentionally shifted your focus and nurtured the relationship with yourself, you will have enough to share (in person or virtually) with your loved ones. All while giving them a gift of showing them how to nurture themselves.

Wishing you peace, love & health during this holiday season.

May you be filled up with the goodness that exists and with hopes for all that is possible!

With love!
Kelly 

How to Find Peace in Chaos

How to Find Peace in Chaos

by | Nov 17, 2020 | change, inspiration, love, peace | 2 comments

Resilience.

I can’t think of another word that is more vital to embrace after what we have gone through in our world this last year and continue to navigate.

Wearing Masks are the Norm

I don’t know about you but the anxiety I felt for the first time, wearing a mask in public and seeing masked people driving around town, was so alarming!

There were moments in the grocery store, where my glasses would fog up and then my mask would breathe in way too close and I would try to move it away without touching it directly with my hands and I felt panic rising up in my chest. I avoided public spaces for weeks because of the fear.

Eventually I found masks that allowed me to breathe. And I absorbed the reality of how we are doing our part for public health and saw my discomfort as a small price to pay for the betterment of the whole.

Glaring Need for Food Banks

I am fortunate (and I know it and am grateful) that my work allows me to work at home. In the early summer, after gearing up to leave the house for the weekly shop, the roads and the sidewalks were virtually empty. The emptiness felt creepy.

On my way home, I turned to go into my neighbourhood, there was movement. I watched this tall woman quickly cross the road with her little baby in a stroller to get in line at the pop-up Food Bank at the local school that I didn’t notice before. Time stopped. And the reality of this picture haunted me. And then I cried. The pandemic is real. People are hungry, this is real.

Amazingly, almost right after that, our community filled a whole stadium with donated food. Heartbreakingly beautiful and simultaneously heartbreaking.

Racial Inequality and Unrest

First, I am not qualified to speak intellectually on this topic as I am still unpacking and unlearning and learning. But after the murders of unarmed black people in the US caused a global movement, I felt rage and then hope for humanity. Seeing people come together, united for justice was inspiring. I signed up for webinar after webinar and crammed my mind with education on the history of slavery and colonization and systemic racism, I felt guilt and shame of my white privilege and ignorance. And then, my dearest person was targeted with racist hate language, which brought it home, literally. It is our duty as humans to learn from the past and do better. When we stay in the dark, we are never free.

Gender Inequality, Lockdown and Mental Health

The abruptness of closing the schools revealed the gender inequality that exists and persists. The she-cession has impacted women globally and brings me to my knees in overwhelm and how to make change and help people cope with it all, in its unique and varying ways. Families are hurting. Single parents, grief, suicide prevention, depression, work life balance, emotional labour and pay inequity have been consuming my mind and my reading list.

If you have children under 14 right now with no one to care for them, how do you go to work? Many women in food and hospitality have lost their jobs and many others are in precarious situations. Women in the labour market is the lowest it has been in decades. Universal child care has been touted as a possible solution, along with equal pay and education on gender bias but we need the vaccine. 

The pressure to do it all, be it all, have it all, is proving to be impossible for many and that realization is either liberating or crushing.

Over the weekend, we began to unpack our Christmas decorations, eager to start celebrating, even if its just our immediate family this year. I lifted my favourite snowmen family from the box and squeezed them to me like a child and then I touched the area in my chest and remembered the cyst that may or may not be growing, the one the doctors are “watching” every 6 months.

And I became acutely aware of how unknown the future feels, how unreliable, unsteady, unfamiliar, unsure everything can feel … when we look at the weight and expanse of all that we are facing. It is all too big. I held my husband and daughter — rather they held me, as I cried. It’s a complicated gratitude, that we simply have each other and our health, holding the awareness that not all are as fortunate.

I feel like it is a normal occurrence right now, that I cry, my friends cry, my family, my clients. We tell each other (virtually) how much we love each other. We have been quite bold. If you are waiting to say these words in your life, now is the time!

A global pandemic, political unrest, polarization, economic instability, borders closed! This is all real, so get real with the love you have in your life and don’t waste another moment! Share it! There is little else that is as real and transforming as love.

I am used to feeling things deeply. I always have been highly sensitive, intuitive, empathetic and being this way requires boundaries and time to rest. But this year has taught me that…

We must actively strive for equality for all, to promote and live with respect and civility in our own minds, at home with our spouses, children, family, at work with our colleagues and clients and in society and demand the same from government.

Even as I write this you see when you start from the inner world, it extends out and shifts – EVERYTHING can be reduced to love ~ to learn, to choose to give and receive love. Practice.

If you feel compelled to create more meaning and change your life and align with your life purpose, practice getting really good at giving love and receiving love. 

Whether you are a taxi driver, doctor, teacher, politician — your purpose is to clear out the clutter, to perform your work mindfully (to be present) and give and receive love in the process.

Really, that is it.

So, while the bigger global pictures are bringing us to our knees, as I see I have repeated throughout this post, it is our love that will heal us and our commitment to equality for all. We are resilient — we are capable to recover after stress.

So, if this is overwhelming or confusing about what to do next — approach it like this: Whoever is in front of you, beside you, listening or talking to you, choose mindfully to love them, look into their eyes and start this healing that we need to do, every day, one ripple in the ocean each day, one interaction, one thought at a time.

We are planning some really soul nourishing workshops this month, I invite you to join, connect and find some peace. If you need assistance or guidance on how to create change and begin your journey, I also offer one-on-one coaching services at Embrace Your Life coaching. If I can be of any help to you, I would love to schedule a complimentary session to discuss your goals.

What the Heck is Clarified Butter?

What the Heck is Clarified Butter?

by | Oct 20, 2020 | Business Growth, change | 7 comments

How much do you prioritize professional development in your life?

Does the thought of entering a classroom setting make your stomach bubble and churn? Are you so busy you haven’t even thought about learning a new skill or developing a new professional contact?

Living your life purpose is not just one big bold move and the rest of the journey is smooth sailing, there is a commitment to the excavation of self and your journey in the world at each stage in your life.

Does that sound exhausting, or what!?! We are so busy!

————-

In marketing, they say connect with your audience by sharing a story… So here is a story.

Over the weekend, I participated in a 2-day workshop for a course I am taking on Creative Responses to Grief and Loss. We played with different mediums: music, poetry, mindful movement, story writing and the process was very beautiful.

The principles are of Person-Centered Expressive Art Therapy by Natalie Rogers and through this course, I realize how art has been a pivotal part of my healing in my adult life. You may say, “I was a poet and didn’t even know it.”

This weekend, I became very aware that I am firmly in middle age at 45.

As I looked at the group of mostly early 20 somethings as I presented my collage, one area that stuck out were the words “THE LIFE” – and over top of the “THE” I cut out the word “MY” and glued it over top.

You see, I no longer want “THE LIFE” – I am focused on creating MY LIFE.

I only have one.

ONE – if you believe in reincarnation, this is the cumulation of others… but only this one life – with this group of people, with this purpose, with this sphere of possibility.

I looked into the eyes of each of the people in the group, trying to emphasize that insight to them, so they will know that it is not about going after the life but really making a life for yourself. Then, I shared with them the images of unsmiling women – bold, unapologizing and again UNSMILING women looking back at the camera.

There is anger, fierceness and restrained disgust. There is a lot to process in the world right now.

And that is how I feel – anger, fierce and restrained disgust, all laying just below the surface.

When I looked into the eyes of my fellow students, regardless of age, experience, gender, culture, I felt such a closeness with them. 

The feeling was familiar, it reminded me of when I facilitated vision board workshops, the Artist’s Way group and Goddess workshops. I was using the principles of Art Therapy and gentle movement and I didn’t even know it!! 

So by taking a course, it has ignited a new awareness, a new vigor in how I want to share my love and purpose in the world. 

In marketing they also say, be sure your copy answers this: “What is it in for me?” Because that is what the reader thinks when they scan your site, do an experiment, try it yourself. 

My intention is always when I write is that you feel inspired or empowered use your intuition to express more joy and love in your life and through your work.

VIRTUAL MONTHLY MEETUPS 

As someone who loves to connect with people and see them shine it has been a real challenge to do this solely online. So I invite all who are interested in injecting a little refresh into their work and do a career audit and then listen to our presenter Dr. Marni Bruni speak – Learn More & Register Here!

 

AND…. clarified butter is when you heat it and then separate the milk part from the top, leaving the pure product below. That is what professional development does, it gives you a chance to go deeper and get rid of the excess.

Surround yourself with people who seek truth, purpose, light, in a pure form. 

 

The Transformative Power of Authenticity

The Transformative Power of Authenticity

by | Oct 4, 2020 | Uncategorized | 8 comments

The Fulfilled Woman Accountability Group is a Virtual Meetup created with the intention to bring women together to express and take action toward our biggest dreams. In the process, we support each other and share our experiences of increased moments of fulfillment.

When we strengthen our connection with women, we see just how similar we are and reducing our feelings of isolation and lonliness. The pandemic has created the circumstances to eliminate what is not working for you and in some ways has simplified life and shining light on our values. Authenticity is the key to fulfillment. Authenticity is loving and accepting who you are. It is sitting with the discomfort of not fitting in or shaming yourself for not fitting in. It is seeing yourself in the wholeness of who you are, the spectrum and seeing the beauty in that realness regardless.

Power is different than force. When you force yourself do more, be more, the underlying belief is: “YOU ARE NOT ENOUGH”, a feeling of being unworthy. There is power in Authenticity. It is about walking with confidence and presence and when faced with the unknown, it is about being curious instead of doubt and fear. You do not have to prove yourself. Transformation and expansion comes after self acceptance. When you are not afraid, you have the energy to grow and try new things. You free your mind to consider the possibilities of new dreams and experiences. Because your identity is not fragile, you can move between ideas without self ridicule. Stating your dream can be one of the scariest statements! It exposes what is nearest to your heart and what you dare think you can have! But stating your dream boldly gives others an example to follow.

What if you don’t have a goal right now because life feels chaotic? If that feels like you ~ Read my recent article When NOT Falling apart is the goal.  We are managing a lot and society expects a lot. But we find happiness in our capacity to shape the world so that we can bring beauty into being. It’s through our own making, our creativity that we make a beautiful life. When you express yourself, share yourself, you are able to find pleasure in life and you experience more fulfillment. Goal Attainment happens where there is Incentive and Accountability. When moments of fulfillment become the incentive and accountability is created in our relationships, you have found the recipe for a fulfilled life.

*** The Fulfilled Woman Accountability Group met on September 29, 2020 and I hosted Caitlin Donovan.

Caitlin Donovan is one of New York City’s leading burnout experts and acupuncturists, host of “Fried – The Burnout Podcast,” and author of the book “The Bouncebackability Factor: End Burnout, Gain Resilience, and Change the World”. Her master’s degree in Traditional Chinese Medicine enables Caitlin to combine Eastern wisdom with her natural practicality.

After performing more than 25,000 acupuncture treatments, Caitlin added 1:1 coaching, corporate workshops, and keynotes for companies such as PTC and Lululemon – all with a focus on ending burnout culture.

She has been featured on podcasts and online magazines such as “Forbes”, “Elephant Journal,” “Thrive Global,” “Addicted 2 Success”, as well as quoted in Oprah Magazine.

— Whatever you want to attract into your life, believe!

REGISTER FOR THE NEXT MEETUP

Entrepreneurial Series – Branding Basics

Entrepreneurial Series – Branding Basics

by | Jul 28, 2020 | Business Growth | 5 comments

 

Let your entrepreneurial self shine by understanding branding basics that you can apply online and offline.

Branding is all about choosing how you want to be perceived by others. When you are self-employed, it is vital to your success that your branding is consistent with who you really are. People are watching and feeling your brand – online and off. Choosing to show up consistently in your life and business is essential in creating an authentic profile that other people will be attracted to and understand. 

This is not about people pleasing – you don’t have to be perfect – you have to be REAL!

 It is about getting real about who you are and who you serve. You have to understand why your business exists and what you sell and and why people need what you sell! Building a foundation will help you reach your clients… and grow your business!

 TIPS ONLINE – Consider these questions about you are presenting yourself online and record your answers.

  • What words continue to appear in your message online?
  • How do you describe yourself and your message?
  • What are your key strengths?
  • How do other people describe you – think character traits.
  • What sets you apart from other people in your industry?
  • What is your key message – your story?
  • Why do you do what you do? 

Be solution focused, share how you can help people solve their concerns and problems.

 Quick activity – Take a look at your About Me page on your website and your profile on your Facebook Page and Group and other online profiles. Does your profile reflect any key words that have the flavour of your strengths, character traits, your message, story and clearly states how you can solve your customers’ problem? Write it down. 

When you become mindful of your vibe, make sure that it is infused into your copy writing, the images you choose, the colours, fonts and general feel of your image online. When people pop onto your profile or site, make it clear how you can help them with their problem. If they see, hear and feel your message – people will know what to expect from you and form trust with you. It will begin to feel like the reader knows you and they will even begin to like you and buy from you! 

Trust is essential in building relationships and when you can clearly demonstrate who you are, what you believe in and then share your message consistently – You will attract customers! I can honestly say that I have not spent more than a few hundred dollars in advertising in nearly a decade of owning my business. My business is based on referrals. I attract people from networking, live events, speaking engagements and through blog posts and groups I have contributed to online. The ability to quickly establish and build trust is becoming even more important in today’s business environment, where partnerships and strategic alliances are common practice.

 

TIPS OFFLINE – Consider this: If someone bumped into you offline, do you present the same image you do online? 

Being authentic and present in your life is essential in growing your business. When you are actively present in your life, people take notice. When you walk into a room with confidence and presence, people can feel that energy! It doesn’t matter if you are an extrovert or introvert, people can feel that you believe in yourself and that energy translates again into trust! 

And trust translates into sales. 

When you are in person, know how to share and speak about your business, so you might be able to connect with people who need your service or product. The person you are speaking to might not need your services BUT they might refer you to someone they know that needs your work. 

Elevate your comfort level about speaking about your work AND know how to answer the question “What do you do?” If you freeze and stumble when you are asked that question, I can help! That is what I love to do. 

I help you, an entrepreneurial women gain confidence and clarity to market your business, one that is aligned with your life purpose. I guide you to implement time management strategies and energy focusing practices so you can reconnect with your vision so you can make the difference in the world that you dream about. When you do this work, you will re-ignite your passion for your work and you will begin to attract abundance! When you are focused and take mindful action you will have more energy to share in your business and your life! 

Authentic business translates to: 

  •  less time wasted,
  •  increase in energy and
  •  higher return on investment. 

How does this happen? Because your branding and your services are aligned with your higher purpose and you attract higher paying, happy customers who send more customers like them back to you! Your confidence will soar because this approach is rooted in your soul, your heart! 

I hope that whatever you are facing as you build your business, you will be able to find the courage and inner strength to overcome! 

 If you would like to read about how to make and accept change in your life, consider purchasing my book, Follow Your Heart to Discover Your Life Purpose. I would love to sign a copy for you! Click here for more details on how I can help you.

If you need assistance or guidance on how to begin your journey, I also offer one-on-one coaching services at Embrace Your Life coaching. If I can be of any help to you, I would love to schedule a complimentary session to discuss your goals.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

7 Steps to Get on Your Path

7 Steps to Get on Your Path

by | Jul 19, 2020 | Uncategorized | 2 comments

“Indulging ourselves in a frantic fantasy of what our life would look like if we were real artists, we fail to see the many small creative changes that we could make at this very moment… Rather than take a scary baby step toward our dreams, we rush to the edge of the cliff and then stand there, quaking, saying. “I can’t leap. I can’t. I can’t.” ~ Julia Cameron

What is preventing you from following what is in your heart? 

 

 

Do you long to draw, paint or collage? Do you wish you could change careers or pursue an exciting hobby? Maybe you dream of lush gardens or exotic cooking or interior design!

What happens to your body when you think and imagine yourself doing what your heart wants? Doesn’t it feel good?! Likely it does! So, what is stopping you from taking action?

You don’t need a studio to be a potter or a sculptor. You don’t need to quit your job to be a writer, photographer or a dancer. You don’t need to leave your relationship to own your own business or will be considered a terrible parent to join a passionate cause. Take small steps toward your dream and witness your life transform!

Here are 7 steps to get you on your path today! 

  1. Eliminate what isn’t working!

We are all intuitive and have a sense about what is true or right for us. We all have had feelings about situations or people in our lives and received a signal that something just wasn’t right. This uncomfortable feeling happens when we go against or try to ignore our intuition. The result of ignoring our intuition is the creation of unnecessary challenge in our lives.

In order to find our truth we need to stop struggling and take a step back from what we are doing and listen. Listening and gaining awareness is real progress but in order to harness change and follow our hearts we need to not only get quiet enough to hear but we then also need to be honest with ourselves about what we find and accept ourselves, exactly as we are.  If we look back throughout our lives, we will likely recognize a pattern, and see that the same issue and the way we cope continue over and over again.

Reflection: What is in your life that isn’t working? What or who are you ready to let go of?

Get real with yourself and examine any patterns that aren’t aligned with your potential – the YOU, you know you could be.

 

“When I let go of what I am, I become what I might be.”– Lao Tzu

 2. Create your vision – visualize daily!

Now that you have eliminated what doesn’t work, the next step is to get clear about what it is you really want.  Whatever it is that you want in your ideal life, you must become the person that would attract all of these things.

Reflection:

  • When you dream about the perfect way to spend your time, what are you doing?
  • Imagine that you are completely exhilarated and focused, what are you doing?
  • Imagine having all of the material things you want now. Describe using your senses what it is like having them.
  • When you feel completely competent, proud and rewarded, what are you doing?
  • What qualities does your ideal partner enjoy in you?
  • Describe your closest friendship.

Create a clear picture of what you want to manifest in your ideal life, take it a step further and create a collage of what you want to attract into your life.

 

“The way to choose happiness is to follow what is right and real and the truth for you. You can never be happy living someone else’s dream. Live your own. And you will for sure know the meaning of happiness.”– Oprah Winfrey 

  1. Be Mindful! Live with Purpose!

The more we identify with our ideal picture of what we want and feel good about it, the faster we will see the change take place in our lives. Our behaviours will change and we will let go of things easier because they simply do not fit. Whatever is not aligned with our deeper values and goals begin to drop away.

Activity: Create a safe space for reflection, contemplation and inspiration! Visit your sacred space every day and reflect on the day’s events and the choices you made.

Commit to your transformation: Develop a regular practice of yoga, meditation, nature walks, daily journal writing and share your experience with an accountability partner, friend or coach.

Be aware of the choices you make and choose only what feels good. I’m not talking about fleeting, superficial “feel good”, I am talking about goodness deep down in your soul. You know when there is an ache in your heart or giddiness in your stomach.

Develop your gifts, talents! Uncover your passions and interests – commit to exploring all of what lies within you.

“Your work is to discover your world and then with all your heart give yourself to it.” ~ Buddha

 

  1. Remain focused on yourself!

It is important not to push your new lifestyle choices on others. When you change your behaviour it impacts your primary relationships. Friends and family may become inspired by your commitment to self-growth and jump on board or they may feel completely put off, hurt and rejected. They may have different ideal pictures and start moving in other directions or aren’t interested in examining their behaviour and are simply happy with the way things are.

You cannot force people to change or make them want something different; as you are on your own journey, so is everyone else. Just like everyone else’s way isn’t right for you, nor is your way the right way for everyone else.

There is a way to stop all of this endless, mindless responding to other people’s reactions and that is to trust yourself and make sure that your voice is the loudest voice you hear. Let that voice, your voice guide you in the right direction!

Reflection: What does your intuition tell you? What messages are you receiving? Have there been any synchronicities? What insights do you have about your life and who you are as a powerful individual?  What has come into your life to support you during this time of change?

“Courage is the power to let go of the familiar.” — Raymond Lindquist

 

  1. Celebrate YOU and what is happening NOW!

Look for what is working! Throughout this change process, you have made the decision to change the things in your life – all of this action required great courage! Celebrate!

Recognize your success! It is very common to overlook events dismissing them as luck or coincidences; I urge you to avoid minimizing your progress and include even the slightest change that is aligned with your ideal life.

It is important to recognize all of the success as this is evidence for how the Universe is acting in your life. The ability to receive is a critical new skill to develop that will attract more success to you; I encourage you to list all of the successes – no matter what size!

Activity: Let go of others’ input, feedback etc. This is your time to shine! You really deserve to take a moment to relax, look around and have pride for what you have started just for yourself! Reflect on these questions:

  • How can you practice savouring your success alone?
  • What fills you up or brings you joy? What can you do for yourself to celebrate you?
  • How can you incorporate this joyful activity into your celebration today?

 

“Abundance is not something we acquire. It is something we tune into.” ~ Wayne Dyer

  1. Don’t give up when you numb out!

When old negative thinking arises, so do old negative coping patterns. Negative coping behaviours are usually excessive behaviours that are distractions from reality. They are harmful ways of dealing with doubt and fear associated with adapting to change and satisfy immediate gratification – over-shopping, exercising, drinking, eating etc… Choosing these behaviours will surely move you further away from what you want.

Knowing your old patterns of coping and being honest with yourself is the first step in breaking the pattern. Watch for the old coping mechanisms as they arise during moments of stress, doubt and fear. Get really familiar with that part of you who is experiencing pain – ask that part of you what “its” message is and what “it needs. Listen for any messages and record the insights.

Trust yourself.  You have overcome many obstacles to get to this point in your life, this too shall pass.

Reflection:

  • What coping strategies have you used in the past to deal with stress and anxiety?
  • How did these strategies work for you in managing your stress?
  • How do you want to deal differently with boredom, fear, doubt? Devise a plan and implement when in critical moments.

 “Happiness is when what you think, what you say, and what you do are in harmony.” ~ Mahatma Gandhi 

7. Evolve! Expand! Embrace your life!

Keep adding to your vision of what you desire! Keep expanding, developing and utilizing your power. Create more of what you want!

Wanting more does not mean that you are selfish or incapable of being satisfied, it means that you have uncovered something inside of you that wants to blossom and flourish! You have released your inner truth and it is spreading! Don’t hold back, just follow your heart!

Activity: Create a list to achieve in 1 day, 1 month, 1 year, 10 years. Keep this list with you.

 “Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” —David Whyte

You deserve to receive goodness in life. You are the only person in the entire world who has the unique combination of experiences that creates your individual perspective. No one else is exactly like you.

Live your Purpose! Write your own story!

I hope that whatever you are facing, or however you feel about your ability and deservedness to create a life of purpose, you will be able to find the courage and inner strength to overcome!


If you would like to read about how to make and accept change in your life, consider purchasing my book, Follow Your Heart to Discover Your Life Purpose. I would love to sign a copy for you! Click here for more details on how I can help you. 

 

 

If you need assistance or guidance on how to begin your journey, I also offer one-on-one coaching services at Embrace Your Life coaching. If I can be of any help to you, I would love to schedule a complimentary session to discuss your goals.