WELCOME! WE ARE GLAD YOU ARE HERE!
My name is Kelly, but in the book Chloe and the Butterflies, my name is Katie.
Here, I will share photos of our family and life with Chloe. She was a sweet and smart dog who loved playing, running, and so much more!!
There are some tips for caregivers about approaching the topic, along with intentions of the book, rooted in theories about how this book can help your family now and in the future.
I hope you enjoy reading more about Chloe and the butterflies that often flew around her throughout her life.
Kelly
Building Connection
By sharing stories about Chloe, I hope you and the people in your life can laugh together. You may even cry, but you feel connected and closer.
We are all capable of a wide range of emotions. Know that you don’t have to run or hide from your feelings.
When we feel safe and share, we often feel lighter because we don’t have to carry our emotions alone.
When caregivers expand their ability to explore difficult emotions, they can better manage change, transition, and loss.
When children feel safe, their feelings validated, and their questions considered and explored, you strengthen your attachment to your child and attune to their needs.
Modelling healthy coping strategies and building connections as a family is the foundation of health and well-being that will impact them for their whole lives!
“Who are the butterflies?”
In the story, the three butterflies hold spiritual significance, symbolizing transformation, hope, and the presence of loved ones who have died in my life as a result of pregnancy loss.
I wrote this part of the story to allow caregivers flexibility to incorporate their spiritual beliefs and adjust the material, considering the reader’s maturity.
The intention is to engage in meaningful discussions with your children about spirituality, a proven protective factor for healthy coping strategies in the face of loss.
As Chloe navigates life’s challenges, the butterflies guide and comfort her, representing the enduring love and spiritual connections that transcend physical boundaries.
The butterflies remind readers that those we’ve “lost” remain with us in spirit, highlighting themes of resilience, love, and the bonds that continue beyond the physical world.
Here is what three of our first readers said (each are trained teachers):
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Meet Chloe & Our Family
Suggestions for Using the Discussion Questions provided in the book:
As a Caregiver, it can be challenging to find the “right” words to support a child who is emotional about a significant change. Even as adults, we can be afraid to say the wrong thing that may make things worse somehow.
Loss of all kinds, not only loss of life, can include loss of friendships, moving to a new school, family separation and divorce, illness, and changes in physical abilities can be disruptive.
At the conclusion of the story, we included eight questions to help you open up the conversation with your child about topics that may feel uncomfortable. Here are a few tips to help you engage meaningfully:
1) Answer the questions yourself first before engaging with your child. When you are able to reflect on your own thoughts, feelings and beliefs about loss, you will be able to share from a thoughtful space. Form a support team for yourself if you find you might need additional resources during times of change and transition.
Modelling how to carry grief or embrace change will provide valuable information to the child watching you.
2) Learn how to listen actively and validate the child’s emotions. You are not expected to have all of the answers to the mysteries of life and death. It is okay to say you don’t know how the world works.
Phrases provided by Imago therapy, include: “I hear you saying this…, did I understand that correctly? Is there more about that?” and finally, “I can understand how that would make you feel that way. Would you like a hug?” Being grounded and present while sitting quietly beside them is effective at forming connections. Silence is okay.
3) Be consistent. When things are changing in a child’s life, they rely on routine to provide a sense of security and stability.
Having a regular schedule as much as possible will allow them to feel safe, and if things do change, provide them with notice beforehand so they can prepare themselves.
On the Friday before Chloe died, I took her to the park. I carried her for most of the walk because her legs were weak. I sat down in the grass, and she walked slowly around the area under the canopy of trees.
I cried very deeply because I was very sad and took some pictures to help me remember that moment.
I am glad I have the pictures because I can remember exactly how I felt. I can feel tremendous grief and love for Chloe simultaneously, which reminds me of the specialness of our connection.
When I see butterflies, I am reminded of the magic of life. It can be hard to explain in words, but when we are quiet, we can feel it speaking to us in our hearts. The feeling says, ” “Don’t give up,” “Keep believing,” and “Keep opening your heart and loving,” again and again.
I always feel connected to Chloe that way, no matter if we aren’t physically together.
Our love is alive and always around us. We simply have to get quiet, look for evidence of it, and let it comfort and inspire us.
Keep Learning as a Family
Dougy Center
At Dougy Center, we create safe spaces and free resources for children and families who are grieving. Our pioneering peer grief support model, professional training, and world-renowned programs and advocacy bring hope and healing around the world. Find support, resources, and connection before and after a death.
Kids Grief
Kids Grief is a free online resource that helps parents support their children when someone in their life is dying or has died. It equips parents with the words and confidence needed to help children grieve life’s losses in healthy ways.
About the Book
Join Chloe, Katie, and their growing family on a heartwarming adventure full of love, loss, and everything in between. Chloe’s tale, written especially for children, celebrates the life of Katie’s beloved dog. The true and touching story is a gentle guide, helping young minds face change, transition, and loss that are part of everyone’s journey.
Children will discover that love connects us, empowering them to face life’s challenges with hope and reassurance. Share in the joy of this unforgettable tale and explore topics with your child that are often difficult to discuss but key to building hope and resilience.
Get Your Copy of Chloe & the Butterflies!
I appreciate your interest and support in spreading
this intention to build connection and resilience!
