How to Find Peace in Chaos

How to Find Peace in Chaos


Resilience.

I can’t think of another word that is more vital to embrace after what we have gone through in our world this last year and continue to navigate.

Wearing Masks are the Norm

I don’t know about you but the anxiety I felt for the first time, wearing a mask in public and seeing masked people driving around town, was so alarming!

There were moments in the grocery store, where my glasses would fog up and then my mask would breathe in way too close and I would try to move it away without touching it directly with my hands and I felt panic rising up in my chest. I avoided public spaces for weeks because of the fear.

Eventually I found masks that allowed me to breathe. And I absorbed the reality of how we are doing our part for public health and saw my discomfort as a small price to pay for the betterment of the whole.

Glaring Need for Food Banks

I am fortunate (and I know it and am grateful) that my work allows me to work at home. In the early summer, after gearing up to leave the house for the weekly shop, the roads and the sidewalks were virtually empty. The emptiness felt creepy.

On my way home, I turned to go into my neighbourhood, there was movement. I watched this tall woman quickly cross the road with her little baby in a stroller to get in line at the pop-up Food Bank at the local school that I didn’t notice before. Time stopped. And the reality of this picture haunted me. And then I cried. The pandemic is real. People are hungry, this is real.

Amazingly, almost right after that, our community filled a whole stadium with donated food. Heartbreakingly beautiful and simultaneously heartbreaking.

Racial Inequality and Unrest

First, I am not qualified to speak intellectually on this topic as I am still unpacking and unlearning and learning. But after the murders of unarmed black people in the US caused a global movement, I felt rage and then hope for humanity. Seeing people come together, united for justice was inspiring. I signed up for webinar after webinar and crammed my mind with education on the history of slavery and colonization and systemic racism, I felt guilt and shame of my white privilege and ignorance. And then, my dearest person was targeted with racist hate language, which brought it home, literally. It is our duty as humans to learn from the past and do better. When we stay in the dark, we are never free.

Gender Inequality, Lockdown and Mental Health

The abruptness of closing the schools revealed the gender inequality that exists and persists. The she-cession has impacted women globally and brings me to my knees in overwhelm and how to make change and help people cope with it all, in its unique and varying ways. Families are hurting. Single parents, grief, suicide prevention, depression, work life balance, emotional labour and pay inequity have been consuming my mind and my reading list.

If you have children under 14 right now with no one to care for them, how do you go to work? Many women in food and hospitality have lost their jobs and many others are in precarious situations. Women in the labour market is the lowest it has been in decades. Universal child care has been touted as a possible solution, along with equal pay and education on gender bias but we need the vaccine. 

The pressure to do it all, be it all, have it all, is proving to be impossible for many and that realization is either liberating or crushing.

Over the weekend, we began to unpack our Christmas decorations, eager to start celebrating, even if its just our immediate family this year. I lifted my favourite snowmen family from the box and squeezed them to me like a child and then I touched the area in my chest and remembered the cyst that may or may not be growing, the one the doctors are “watching” every 6 months.

And I became acutely aware of how unknown the future feels, how unreliable, unsteady, unfamiliar, unsure everything can feel … when we look at the weight and expanse of all that we are facing. It is all too big. I held my husband and daughter — rather they held me, as I cried. It’s a complicated gratitude, that we simply have each other and our health, holding the awareness that not all are as fortunate.

I feel like it is a normal occurrence right now, that I cry, my friends cry, my family, my clients. We tell each other (virtually) how much we love each other. We have been quite bold. If you are waiting to say these words in your life, now is the time!

A global pandemic, political unrest, polarization, economic instability, borders closed! This is all real, so get real with the love you have in your life and don’t waste another moment! Share it! There is little else that is as real and transforming as love.

I am used to feeling things deeply. I always have been highly sensitive, intuitive, empathetic and being this way requires boundaries and time to rest. But this year has taught me that…

We must actively strive for equality for all, to promote and live with respect and civility in our own minds, at home with our spouses, children, family, at work with our colleagues and clients and in society and demand the same from government.

Even as I write this you see when you start from the inner world, it extends out and shifts – EVERYTHING can be reduced to love ~ to learn, to choose to give and receive love. Practice.

If you feel compelled to create more meaning and change your life and align with your life purpose, practice getting really good at giving love and receiving love. 

Whether you are a taxi driver, doctor, teacher, politician — your purpose is to clear out the clutter, to perform your work mindfully (to be present) and give and receive love in the process.

Really, that is it.

So, while the bigger global pictures are bringing us to our knees, as I see I have repeated throughout this post, it is our love that will heal us and our commitment to equality for all. We are resilient — we are capable to recover after stress.

So, if this is overwhelming or confusing about what to do next — approach it like this: Whoever is in front of you, beside you, listening or talking to you, choose mindfully to love them, look into their eyes and start this healing that we need to do, every day, one ripple in the ocean each day, one interaction, one thought at a time.


We are planning some really soul nourishing workshops this month, I invite you to join, connect and find some peace. If you need assistance or guidance on how to create change and begin your journey, I also offer one-on-one coaching services at Embrace Your Life coaching. If I can be of any help to you, I would love to schedule a complimentary session to discuss your goals.

Mental Health & Processing Grief

Mental Health & Processing Grief

Good Morning! I have to be honest, I have been very moved by the loss of Kate Spade.
What about you?

She had the business success people dream of.

She created so much in her life for the world to celebrate, full of colour and influence and playfulness.
Her brand.

All while there was so much more going on inside.

It makes me think of how often we answer the question,

“How are you?” with “I’m fine.”

— when you really aren’t fine.

If you don’t have a broken bone or an illness that someone can see, it is expected you are “fine and will get over it, can’t be that bad.”

What if you are feeling opposite to what you are trying to create?

Trapped by your brand, by the vision you think you need to project… the thinking that you have to be something you aren’t.

We are complex beings!

We change. We feel. We are human.

Without being over-simplistic, a good practice is –

If you catch yourself saying I am fine when you really aren’t,
CHALLENGE yourself to expand your answer and be vulnerable telling the person exactly how you are feeling.

Authentic connection is proven to combat depression.

With lots of love, sincerely!!
Kelly  xo

How do you talk to yourself?

How do you talk to yourself?

You are the only person in the entire world who has the unique combination of experiences that creates your individual perspective. No one else is exactly like you.
• Do you believe that you are special?
• How do you treat yourself? Do you generally speak kindly and compassionately to yourself?
• Do you celebrate alone, filling yourself up with joy regularly?
• What do you do for yourself to reward and appreciate your success?
• If you wanted to do something nice for your loved one, what would you do? You deserve the same treatment. What can you do for yourself today?

Affirmation: I deserve to receive the goodness in life.

We are so much more than the behaviour and words we use to limit, define and hurt ourselves with, so even if you make a decision that moves you one step away from your picture, take another two steps forward toward it without punishing yourself! Just keep going! Keep practicing!
Your ideal life is worth working toward and it is all here you just have to accept it as your truth! All that you want is right here for you receive, just keep going! Keep believing!
“Anything or anyone that does not bring you alive is too small for you.” —David Whyte
Enjoy! Embrace your life!
Kelly

 

Look a little closer…

Look a little closer…

 

“The real act of discovery is not in finding new lands, but in seeing with new eyes.”  — Marcel Proust
Today the post is about simplicity. Seeing the beauty in the intricate patterns we often rush by.
Enjoy!
Kelly
Hope is beautiful!

Hope is beautiful!

 

Hope is the companion of power, and mother of success; for who so hopes strongly has within him the gift of miracles. ~ Samuel Smiles
Wishing you peace and love today,
Embrace your life!  Kelly
Authenticity keeps you in the flow

Authenticity keeps you in the flow

Sometimes we put a lot of energy into doing what we think we should do and end up straining ourselves. There are many signs of “shoulding on ourselves” that include feelings of confusion, anger and even physical strain. We can’t do it all and be everything to everyone!Your body always lets you know when you are in the flow and when you are straining to do it all. When was the last time you listened? What is your body saying to you right now?

When we spend time responding to other people’s expectations or at least our perception of what we think other people want, we quickly lose focus of what is right and feels good authentically for us. We fall out of the flow and lose direction.

I haven’t posted to my blog lately, nor put a lot of my energy into social networking because it simply didn’t feel right. And, I just didn’t have the extra energy. What did feel right was to dedicate my energy to my husband and daughter. We were recently reunited after 11 months of being separated due to immigration issues and relied on Skype to keep us connected; now we are thrilled to be together!! I am so happy that I committed all of my energy to being fully present for this special time in my life. It is heaven.

Now that my family is together, I can feel my energy shifting again and the ideas are flowing! I am so excited about what is yet to come but I couldn’t have been in this place if I tried to do it all. Follow your natural flow and your heart. Be authenitic to yourself!

Enjoy! Embrace Your Life!

Kelly MacLellan M.Sc.

http://www.embraceyourlife.ca/